What’s important too is not to judge your reactions. INFJs tend to get stuck in analysis-paralysis before they react to something. Instead of expressing my desires, I would accommodate others until I couldn’t anymore, and then, I have an anger outburst. When the INFJ is truly upset with an individual they try to express this without allowing it to get out of hand. Find out more about your personality type in our eBooks, Discovering You: Unlocking the Power of Personality Type or The INFJ – Understanding the Mystic. Our empathy for others can help us see the perspective of the other person easily and forgive them for their wrongdoings. The reasons why INFJs feel anger is mostly the same as other people. They also have a compulsion to take care of the emotional atmosphere and take care of people in an emotional and physical sense. In his book, Anger, the Zen Master Thich Nhat Hanh, suggests writing love letters in advance. One day, a student called me and said that he has an exam tomorrow and he feels like slapping his grandmother for not arranging the lessons with me today. Extraverted feeling will be absorbing all the mixed emotions, sensing everyone’s discomfort, and feeling a compulsion to “fix” this situation. 8. Here’s how to deal with it. This is so accurate! He is watching this episode unfold… Without a word, he charges towards the guy attacking the bus driver, pulls him off the driver, gives him a few hard jabs to the nose, pushes the guy out the open door into the snow, and then throws his Christmas tree on top of him. What underlying reason could the friend have to spread this rumor? Follow through on your promises and commitments. A couple of times, I told my friend that I might punch someone in the face if I am placed in a situation that’s traumatic for me and they think that I’m joking. But we have to practice this, starting with the people that are closest to us. They place a lot of pressure on themselves to be there for their loved ones, but can also be perfectionists when it comes to their own actions and goals. We’re often described as sensitive and empathetic individuals with a keen eye on future possibilities – but, like everyone, we also have a dark side. They may feel that they can’t trust their intuition, which is a dangerous place for an INFJ to be. Having empathy for others is good. “Does it make sense that I’m angry?” “What are the facts?” “How do the patterns I’ve noticed fit together with what’s happening now?”. So I’m not implying that all INFJs have the following anger issues. With mindfulness, you won’t do or say things that you later regret. It may not be very obvious to the outside world. Instead of stopping him, I froze and let him take my homework away. We’ll also analyze the logic of the situation. Yes, I was. Of course, this doesn’t work for long. In situations where someone is corrupting the emotional atmosphere for their own selfish gains, an INFJ can become severely angered. I was bullied by my classmate because I refused to let him copy my homework. INFJ rarely expresses their angry in front of others. Never push your anger away. Little things make them angry, and they may feel themselves doing all kinds of indulgent things they know they’ll regret later (like eating an entire cake or ignoring homework to binge-watch an entire season of trashy TV). Two approaches are taken to the same end: 1. They can feel guilty for taking time for themselves, but this is something which is entirely necessary for them. When you are angry, acknowledge what you feel and it’ll be easier to calm it down later. For some people this is something which happens more frequently, for others it seems easier to avoid becoming angry over most things. INFJ Anger Repression: Silent Treatment and Withdrawal. This is a guy who’d never thrown a fist in his life. INFJs are people who are often riddled with feelings of guilt, even when they have done nothing truly wrong. They may give the offending family member a gentle kick in the leg and a stern look as a warning to tone it down. INFJs care about those around them, and they care about the state of the world. Some INFJs shut down and stop talking and reacting, trying to sort out their thoughts inside. However, what if you communicate your needs, and the other person doesn’t respond to your needs kindly? They can easily justify their own actions when they are protecting another person, but if it is for themselves it becomes difficult for the INFJ to really move on from their own guilt. Being Angry Is Not Part of INFJ’s Identity. Some people can think that this behavior is passive-aggressive or that INFJs are giving them the “silent treatment.” However, this quiet stage is an INFJs way of sorting out the information through intuition and thinking without getting overwhelmed by the emotions of everyone else. It became a self-protection mechanism to prevent myself from getting bullied or be taken advantage of. It doesn’t mean that I’m angry or unhappy with you. INFJ: Hard to get angry, since they are very loyal and committed to maintaining harmony. Looking for the implications of this behavior. A lot of things can influence how an INFJ will express their anger. To live a more peaceful life, we have to be in touch with our anger and know how to manage it appropriately. Let your anger vent a little and listen to it mindfully. People usually don’t associate the word “anger” with INFJs. I. But this is not that healthy as I come to realize. If the INFJ really wants to be able to process their anger or frustrated feelings, they need to take time for themselves to really do this. Glad you mentioned about loud noises and overstimulation. Anger/frustration/stress is natural, part of being human. But you don’t want to see it. Let’s take a look at the INFJ function stack and how that’s affected by anger-triggers. Give them a break from non-essential responsibilities. You'll also get a 3-day email course for understanding your personality type better! Take our new personality questionnaire here. Their emotional charge naturally goes down and it will be easier for you to calm them down later. It’s funny you think you know yourself, but having something you do written down on paper so matter of factly is so helpful. INFJs can easily experience guilt if they believe they could have done better, or if they should have done something more for those around them. Once blind to details and in tune with intuition, they now become hyper-focused on details and blind to their intuition. […] Read This Next: When INFJs Get Angry – A Look at INFJ Rage […]. They are caring people but can have a somewhat vicious side when the situation calls for it. If they aren’t given this opportunity to sort through their thoughts they might blow up, cry, or rush through their feelings only to regret it later.
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